


Time after time

by ApfelTHS



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Redemption, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Rey Palpatine, Rey takes care of Ben, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, saving what we love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApfelTHS/pseuds/ApfelTHS
Summary: Ben Solo lives!One month after the battle of Exegol, the galaxy is free from the First Order and the dark influence of the evil Palpatine. While the Resistance gathers its last forces to build a new Republic, Rey is hiding Ben Solo in the rebel base, holding his hand day and night. The former Supreme Leader gave the young Jedi his last bits of energy to save her from a certain death. Weakened and unconscious, Ben is struggling to come back to Rey. And she won't let him go without a fight.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	Time after time

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I haven't read any TROS fix-it fic since the movie is out because the thought of canon Ben is still very painful to me. But this morning I was in the subway listening to Cindy Lauper (no judgement okay?) and this song came along and all I could think about was Reylo. "[Time after time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KdBCFclSC0)" awakened something in me and I had to let it out of my system. So here it is. It's not perfect and as researched as my previous work if you're familiar with it but it was needed. I respected the canon, even if it's not really my cup of tea, but Ben won't die in my story because it's stupid and useless. There, I said it.  
> So here's another proof that Ben Solo can live, I hope you'll like it too... And maybe we can forget the mess TROS left for a little hour!
> 
> Do you think they can broadcast Cindy Lauper in space?

Rey opens her eyes suddenly. Her back hurts, her neck stiff from the position. She fell asleep, bent on the bed. The only source of light in the room comes from the screens by the bed and a little lamp on the side table. She yawns and rubs her fists on her puffy eyes. It must be the middle of the night because the hallway is quiet. When her sight is finally cleared, she looks at Ben, still lying inert. His face is relaxed, his hair spread around his head like a dark crown on the white pillow. Tubes come out of his nose, arms and chest, connecting him to the machines. He hasn’t moved for days. Rey sighs and stretches her limbs. She needs coffee but she doesn’t want to leave his side.

The clock on the wall ticks loudly and it feels like her heart has been following its pace since they put him in this room. She doesn’t know for how long she’s gonna wait for him, but she will. He’s here, now. She grabs his large hand and holds it tight. It feels so much weaker than the last time he had his eyes opened that it makes Rey shiver. What if he never wakes up?

This is something she doesn’t allow herself to think. He will wake up and Rey will be there for him. The medics have said he was weak, drained of his strength but still alive and here somewhere. She just has to wait a little longer. Sometimes, when she plays with his fingers, she can see him, wandering around in his own mind, lost between the Force and the real world. He has his messy hair down, the black sweater with the hole she pierced when she stabbed him on the Death Star. He looks lonely, stray but when he feels her presence he starts to look for her everywhere. And she prays the Maker that he will know which path to take to be with her, at last. It’s not his time. Not yet.

_If you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time_

While she was stroking his forehead, white-hot with fever, she hears someone entering the room. She doesn’t need to turn around, it’s Finn. He stays silent behind her. She knows he doesn’t understand, but he stopped trying to dissuade her to take care of him. When she finally looks at him she catches the look in Finn’s eyes. Disdain, anger, fear… He’s not ready for Ben, but he will be, someday. Rey can feel it. Her friend clears his throat and whispers:

« How is he? »  
« Nothing has changed. »  
« People are starting to ask questions. » He says with defiance in his voice.  
« I don’t care. »  
« They want to know where you are and why the medic quarter has so much security. »  
« They’ll live if they don’t know. » She goes one with the same blank tone she’s been giving him for days.  
« We need you to rebuild the galaxy, Rey. »

Her eyes flick at him. This is nonsense. She’s not a politician, not a warrior leader, she’s just gifted with the Force. That doesn’t mean she’s the good person to rule. The galaxy can wait. She is not going to abandon Ben and put democracy before him. It didn’t end well the first time.

« They’ll do it perfectly without me. »  
« You’re one of the faces of the Resistance. You defeated Palpatine and- »  
« Trust me, you don’t want me in the new Republic senate. »

Finn looks confused but he stops right there. She knows she doesn’t need to explain it to him. He has changed and she can feel the Force flowing around her friend. She smiles and takes his hand.

« I just need you to cover for me. Please, Finn. »

He sighs and shakes his head. They already know she won. His gaze falls on Ben again and he sits on the chair on the other side of the bed. Maybe he’s ready to hear what she has to say about him. If Finn, of all of the resistants, can accept Ben, everybody will. She’s convinced of that.

« The doctors said his results were better than last week. I suppose he will wake up soon. »  
« I hope. He needs to know I’m here. »  
« You know they’re going to put him on trial, maybe jail. »

She tightens her grip on Ben’s hand and brushes his soft hair backward. She loves the way his midnight curls frame his angular face. No one has a face like him. But she can see Leia’s almond eyes, long lashes and royal high cheekbones. And above all, his masculine features are his father’s. She sees Han’s self-willed nose and his pillow lips too. Those lips she had wanted to kiss for more than a year and that he offered her for less than a minute before falling on his back.

She had been so scared, her heart had stopped beating. But when she had rested her ear against his chest she could still hear the shy thumping. It was slow, weak, barely perceptible but Rey didn’t need more to know he’ll live.

_If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time._

« I’ll stand with him. I’ll help him go through it. »  
« And what if they detained him for life? Or they execute him to make an example of him? »  
« I won’t let that happen. » She says, suddenly on the defensive.  
« I’m on your side, Rey. But the Resistance has lost too many lives. They’re thirsty for blood. And he murdered so many and he’s responsible for his choices. »

Rey takes a big breath and stands, inviting Finn to follow her in the hallway. Ben is in a coma but he doesn’t need bad vibes around him. Besides, she doesn’t know how much he can hear from the other side.

« Ben is not who you think he is. I know what he did. He knows it too. He saved my life, Finn. »  
« I would have saved your life too! »  
« I know! But I’d be dead without him. I don’t even know how in the world he can still be alive after giving me so much life energy. I can’t explain it. »

Or maybe she can, she thought. That kiss was more than a kiss. It was warm, electric, like something was flowing between them. Life, love, balance. They couldn’t live without the other. They were bound to each other. A dyad in the Force. Two that are one.  
Even if Finn was now conscious of his Force sensitivity, it will never be the same than what she shares with Ben. She can’t afford to lose him too, now that he’s redeemed.

« So, what do you want to do? »

Finn has this look on his face she knows too well. He realizes she won’t change her mind but he’ll be by her side whatever she decides. He wants to help. She’ll be forever grateful for him. In an attempt to show him, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, feeling his warmth. He holds her even tighter.

« I want to wait until he’s strong enough and go somewhere. Anywhere, away from here and away from everybody. »  
« But the Republic… »  
« The Republic needs to rise from the ashes of the First Order by saving what is left of the Resistance, not by destroying what they fear and hate. »  
« You sound like Rose, sometimes. »  
« She taught me a lot. » She ends with a smile.

After asking Finn to bring her something to eat and drink, Rey goes back to the room and sits on the bed. Ben looks so diminished. He has lost weight, his lips are dry and his chest rises slowly. At least, if his body is struggling, she knows he’s at peace with his soul. Rey has tried to give him more life force but it’s like his body is rejecting it. He needs to find his way to life alone.

***

Late in the night, when her back can’t take another ten hours shift seated on that rough chair, Rey slither under the blankets of Ben’s medical bed. It’s the first time she dares doing this. Nobody will disturb them because nobody cares if he lives or dies, she knows it. His body his warm under the sheets and she smiles a little. It reassures her because when she dragged him back to Luke’s ship, all she could think about was how cold his skin was. Her heart screamed to him to not die, to not disappear on her like everybody did. It’s been a month since the war is over and Rey still wakes up covered in cold sweat, wishing he had not vanish into the Force while she was asleep.

Rey shivers when her ankle find his leg. She hasn’t been close to anyone but him and it’s not like they have been really intimate. But tonight, all she needs is picturing him alive and well. A normal girl in her bed with a man she loves by her side. She pillows her head on his chest, soothed by the regular thumping underneath the skin. It’s stronger than before and her lips curl up. He’s close to come back, Rey knows it. That’s why she needs to get him out of here and fast.

Maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s unfair… But she knows how much Ben suffered. She knows his heart and it’s good and pure. He would have never done anything bad if love had been on his side. He literally laid his life at her feet. She had seen it in his eyes right before he fell: the angst, the regrets, the lack of kindness, the loneliness… Even as Ben Solo, he thought he was undeserving of love. Her affection had been unexpected for him, he had not dared to take her in his arms even after saving her life. Rey will prove him wrong. She will show him that his life was worth to be lived and he was still able to make amend for his mistakes and atone. It won’t be like everybody would want but it will be right.

She closes her eyes, rocked by his breathing, her nose coiled against his neck. He smelled clean, soft and masculine. Alone on Jakku, Rey had never felt the need to be close to someone. Everybody smelled like sweat and dust. Even the kids she sometimes helped didn’t seek for affection. It was like the sand planet had dried them from everything but resent. Now that she had met Ben, she could not imagine life without his arms around her, his hand never far from hers.

If he had to be taken away, Rey would not know what to do. Without Ben, she is supposed to be the last heir of the Skywalker legacy. The entire galaxy relies on her to create a new Jedi Order. She won’t be able to do it alone. She already sees herself with the weight of Master Luke on her shoulders, the reminiscence of her own roots staining her and the people she’ll try to train in the Force. She could not let that happen. She won’t use the Force without Ben. She won’t make the same mistakes her master’s and all Jedi before him did. The Force is not hers to own and teach. Only her and Ben know the flaws of the old Jedi Order, the weaknesses you can find in light and dark Force users. Only them can bring the balance and teach new Jedi to respect its will and might.

_After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray_  
_Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm okay_  
_Secrets stolen_  
_From deep inside_  
_The drum beats out of time._

Rey lets a single tear fall against Ben’s skin. Don’t go, she pleads in her head, hoping he could hear her wherever he is. She takes his hand and concentrates, emptying her mind and breathing slowly.

« Be with me. »

Suddenly, the room shifts. She’s in the cave again. It’s dark and wet but Ben is here, still wandering and looking for the exit. His bare feet claps against the damp rock and he’s looking up where the light enters the cave. She knows he can’t use any Jedi trick here. His heart must find the way. When he feels her, he turns around and stares like she’s a mirage. She doesn’t know if he remembers her coming to look for him every time she can but she hopes he knows it’s not an hallucination. She just needs enough strength to tell him to hold on.

_I'm walkin' too far ahead_  
_You're callin' to me, I can't hear what you've said._

She could spend the entire year admiring his eyes finally open, looking at her, asking for help and love. But she already can feel the pull to reality. He walks to her, runs faster as her body starts to vanish. He tries to reach for her hand and right before she disappears she grabs him and repeats as many times as she can:

« Be with me. »

He heard her. She knows because when her spirit falls back in her body, they’re both wet with sweat, as if they were actually in the cave. She sits and looks at him, hair damp from the roots, his eyes rolling under his lids. He’s so close. But nothing happens. He’s not ready, not strong enough. Rey sighs and goes to the tiny bathroom to grab a towel and dry his face and hair.

That’s when she feels it, the imperceptible pull of his hand at the hem of her shirt. It’s subtle, weak but it’s here. She refrains a scream and takes his hand, holding it very close to her mouth, already kissing his knuckles.

« Ben. I’m here. I’ll wait for you. »

_You said, "go slow"_  
_I fall behind_  
_The second hand unwinds_  
_If you're lost, you can look and you will find me_  
_Time after time._

***

After that night, Rey knows it’s time for her to move Ben somewhere else. She has asked Finn to call Poe, Chewie and Rose in Ben’s room. She won’t leave his side and needs to talk to them. They’re the only ones she trusts. When the sun sets and the Resistance base is finally quiet, the four of them surround Rey and Ben, still unconscious in his bed.

She looks at them. Poe is set back, he can’t bring himself to look at the former Supreme Leader yet, but he says nothing. Rose has already hugged Rey and Chewie approaches Ben’s bed with caution. She can see it in the Wookiee’s eyes that he didn’t forgive Ben for killing Han, but his big furry hand lands on the pale arm of the young man he saw growing up. It’s tender, almost shy, as if he could wake the beast up. Nobody has anything to fear from Ben anymore, but only Rey knows that.

« What did you want to talk about, Rey? » Rose starts trying to gently break the ice.  
« Ben is going to wake up. I can feel it. I need to put him in a safe place. »

No one speaks, they all look scowl and nervous. Rey looks at Ben’s face once more. She has to convince them.

« I know it’s a lot to ask. »  
« If you know, why are you asking? » Poe throws dryly.  
« Poe. » Finn warns him.  
« That’s okay Finn. You’re my friends. You’re also Resistance generals. Without you, the new Republic is nothing. I’m asking you to consider Ben as any other child soldier you’ll rescue from this war. »

Finn looks at his feet, his arms crossed on his chest.

« We’re all child soldiers, Rey. » Poe starts. « We didn’t make the choice he made. »  
« Maybe you were luckier than him. » Rey tries. « You don’t know what he has faced. »  
« I know his mother is… WAS, Leia Organa. His father Han Solo. His uncle Luke Skywalker. And still, he- »  
« I know. »

Rey is now holding Poe’s hand. She can’t blame the pilot for being so reluctant to the idea of letting Ben, the former Supreme Leader of the First Order, go.

« Let him the chance to do right by the galaxy. Let him offer what being a Skywalker means. »  
« Why can’t he face trial? »  
« Because you know what will happen to him. »  
« What if he deserves it? »  
« If Rey thinks he’s changed, I believe her. » Rose says, making all heads turn to her. « We won’t be able to fight the darkness without someone like Kylo Ren— I mean Ben Solo. We won this battle, but the galaxy needs to be reconquered planet after planet. This is not a time to hate but to show the wonders mercy can do. »

Rey and Rose share a knowing look and both stand by Ben’s sides. Finn still hasn’t said anything but Rey knows he doesn’t want to upset her or Poe. The pilot speaks again.

« What’s your plan for him? »  
« I want him to heal and find a way to trust himself again. Once he’s ready, we could share our knowledge to Force sensitive people. »

Her gaze shifts quickly to Finn, squirming in his corner.

« And what if he snaps again? »  
« He won’t. Kylo Ren is dead. »

Poe rubs his hands on his face and looks at Chewbacca.

« What do you think fuzz ball? »

A gentle growl escapes Chewie’s throat, his body shielding Ben’s weak frame. Rey smiles at him and he nods at her. Poe breathes deeply and shakes his head.

« Anyway, that’s what Leia would have wanted. » He ends, trying not to sound too bitter.

***

Rey has packed her bags and put on a brown cloak. They’re going to escape into the night aboard the Millenium Falcon. The ship is recognizable, but nobody knows what Ben Solo looks like without his mask. Helped by C-3PO and Chewbacca, Rey watches Ben’s inert body being transported from the medic quarter to the ship. The Wookiee gently lays the young man on a bed and covers him with a blanket. Rey hopes he’ll be strong enough to travel.

The young Jedi joins Poe in the cockpit. He’s setting coordinates on the ship’s computer. She doesn’t know where they’re going but she hopes for forests and lakes. She sits on the co-pilot chair and looks at him with a smile.

« You could come with us, you know? »  
« I’d rather stay here and head to Coruscant when they’ll be ready to vote. Besides, I don’t think Solo and I would get along. »

Rey chuckles a little.

« Yeah, you’d probably fight all the time. »  
« Finn is going to miss you. »  
« I know. But… In time, he’ll come visit. He knows he has to. »

Poe doesn’t understand but knows something is going on. He clicks on the green button and the ship wakes up.

« Where are you sending us? »  
« To Naboo. »

Rey looks at him. Out of all the regions of the galaxy she thought she’d go to, Naboo was only a dream. She’d heard about the planet from everyone who travelled enough to know there is no place like the Naboo system. She knows the planet is big, but why would Poe choose this place to hide Ben?

« But- »  
« The Naboo are known for being Republic sympathizers. Nobody will look on the most obvious place to hide someone like Kylo Ren. »  
« Why? »  
« Because this is where his family comes from. His grandmother? Padme Amidala, was the Queen and Senator of the planet during the old Republic. She knew Palpatine. He’s from there too.»

Rey shivers at the sound of that name but tries not to think about it.

« Some members of Padmé’s family still live there. Of course, you’ll have to wait a little before introducing Ben to them. But in time, maybe… »

Rey swallows the lump in her throat and smiles. Naboo will be perfect for Ben. She watches Poe get out of the ship and calls for Chewie to help her. But she can hear something in the back of the Falcon. She heads to the main quarter and sees Finn storing his bags in the drawers.

« Finn? » She says, with hope in her voice.  
« You thought I was going to leave you? I’ll take the first round with you. Chewie needs to rest »

Seated on the pilot’ chairs, Rey and Finn take off in the dark skies. The first part of the journey is silent but then, the general starts to open up to the young Jedi. She listens to him, his questions and doubts. She recognizes herself into his stories and wanderings. Finn feels the Force, it’s awake and he won’t be alone. She won’t let it happen.

***

It’s been two hours since Finn has gone to sleep and Rey is still piloting the Falcon on her own. Chewie didn’t wake up but she doesn’t mind. The space is peaceful, there is no threat coming anymore, she can fly alone. Of course, she’s starting to be a little bit tired, but she’ll have plenty of time to sleep once they’ll reach Naboo. And she is not going to be alone. Finn and Chewie will be there. She didn’t tell the Wookiee but the person waiting for them is an old friend of him. Lando has prepared their arrival. She can’t stop thinking about what Ben’s reaction will be when the last reminiscence of his childhood will surround and support him. Rey sniffles at the thought of him finally at peace. Ben will smile again, just like he did on Exegol. Even if it requires a little more time.

_If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time._

Rey yawns and let her hair down, shaking her mane and massaging her skull. It’s going to be a long journey. A light thud rings behind her. She turns around and gasps. Wrapped in a brown blanket, tousled and with a pillow face, the soft eyes of Ben Solo are staring at her. He’s awake. He’s standing in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon. Without thinking about it, Rey activates the autopilot and walks to him.

He looks still fragile, completely leaning on the metallic door but his eyes are open and alive. They breathe slowly, staring into each other’s orbs. Is he really here? There’s only one way to be sure. Rey’s hand travels to his cheek and finds the warmth of his skin. He wants to close his lids, she knows it but he doesn’t stop looking at her. Suddenly, an uncontrollable laugh invades Rey. She can’t stop laughing and crying, her arms already wrapped around Ben’s neck. He leans on her, heavy and shaking but she couldn’t care less. She pulls him to sit on the co-pilot chair and climbs on his lap, caging his head against her chest, weeping of relief.

Slowly, his hands find her back and she can feel his fingers recovering their strength to tighten around her, probably bruising her. Time stops running, the stars shine around them, the Force surrounds their embrace and she can feel him slowly regaining his vital energy and light. When he is strong enough to look at her without trembling, she cups his beautiful face rendered skinny after being bedridden for too long and dives in his eyes. Her forehead touches his, his nose caressing hers. Gently, his head shifts a little, just enough so he can return the favor she gave him that night after the battle of Exegol.

Rey completely melts against his mouth, thinking that if she had to vanish into the Force now, it wouldn’t matter because she found exactly what she was looking for: Him. Ben holds her closer, his hand in her neck, the other wrapped around her waist. She feels a different fire growing inside her and it takes every thing she has to control herself to not rip their clothes apart, knowing he's not strong enough for that.

She parts from their kiss, still brushing his mouth slowly with hers and smiling. Ben’s lips curl up too and that’s the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. She can’t stop staring at how handsome he looks when he’s finally himself. She crushes her mouth against his one last time and sits on her own chair, her hair messier than before. Ben looks tired but the smile doesn't leave his face. It’s so strange to see him there, in his father’s ship. But soon, his eyes fly from Rey to the control console and his expert fingers strums as if he had never left the place.

« You don’t want to know where we’re going? » She asks with a smile in her voice.  
« I hope not a sand planet. I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. » He says with a moody and sleepy voice.

Rey laughs. Ben really is awake.

« So, I think you’re going to like our new home. »  
« Anywhere with you is perfect, now that I can take your hand. »

They both smile, disappearing in a flash after pushing the hyperspace lever together.

_If you're lost, you can look and you will find me, time after time._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, don't hesitate to share your thoughts!
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ApfelTHS) too :)


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